


Do You Miss Me?

by Fear_The_FWZZ



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Based on Future Friday 21+22, Carmilla Fluff, F/F, a little angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-13 13:38:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4524087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fear_The_FWZZ/pseuds/Fear_The_FWZZ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is based on the Carmilla Future Friday post for episodes 21+ 22. This is what I want to see. There is no canon here except that I want Hollstein back together! (This post: http://ubykotex.tumblr.com/post/126122590144/ok-well-this-is-just-heartbreaking-do-you-think)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do You Miss Me?

Laura has moved her broadcasting equipment back into the room. She wants to be able to see out the window constantly without having to move so the camera is more to the left now. Due to Carmilla's injury she can't move around as much as she used to.  _Is it bad I relish her pain?_ Laura thinks to herself. She has small victories because she can finally save Carmilla from something instead of the other way around. To finally say, "I told you so." It still irks her though. She wants everything to be better, and secretly she wants Carmilla back in her arms. To hear her purr against her cheek and wrap her heat around Laura. Laura is pretty obvious of it but it's slightly on purpose. She's almost certain that Carmilla has tuned every part of her out. She can't sleep any night without thoughts and images creeping into her mind. Some of those thoughts making her act upon them in sinful ways. Ways she isn't proud of. 

Laura looks out the window constantly. They barely evaded Baron's army when they came and searched the entire apartment. Thankfully both Mattie and Carmilla can be as black as the night and disappear like a shadow in the dark. She feels they will come back eventually but the panic has subsided since then. Her hair's a mess because it just has a mind of its own sometimes. Just gets messy from the stress. She runs her fingers through her blonde hair and leans on her knees. She really hasn't done a good job at protecting anyone. Barely herself along with that. Because she was blind with morbidity and greed for power. Ever since they ran out of Silas the first time she feels she lost that power. Maybe she just wants some of that back. Though every time she feels she is doing something good it goes the completely opposite direction.  _Shouldn't it be better now? Why should I still care for a vampire? You have no ties to them anymore so why try and spare them?_ She sits there and wonders why she doesn't just throw them to the wolves to fend for themselves. There's that twinge of guilt that brings her back to Earth and her feelings. She still cares for Carmilla. She'd do anything to just jump into her arms and connect their lips. Being able to feel her tongue on hers just one more time.  _Did I completely blow it for myself?_

Carmilla stands in the doorway behind Laura the entire time. Her camera is down and turned off. Her hair makes Carmilla smile.  _The creature can attempt to protect me, but she needs to do something about those fly-aways._ She just arose from sleep in her mother's bed. She needed the sleep after the hard blow. She still feels the impression from the arrow. If only she just stayed behind and faced her feelings then she wouldn't have been in this situation. Now the tiny human sees her at her weakest. Even more than coming from the crater. That was hell to live through. She wanted to wake. She wanted to move because she finally knew how she felt about Laura. She just didn't have the strength. When she was given the blood, emotion just overtook her. She acted upon herself to give into those feelings. Why can't she now? When they spoke heart to heart they got their problems resolved. Now in this standoff they can barely save their own asses, much less everyone else's. She slowly meanders to the right of Laura. The blood still stains her shirt. Laura lifts her head. She is exhausted from life in general. When they make eye contact only Carmilla smiles. It may be slight but it sparked something in Laura. This could be their chance to talk things out. Then they remember the last time they dealt with their feelings. It ended them both in tears. The question of who cried more or harder? They each topped each other. 

"Hey cupcake." Her voice sulky and raspy like it always was back in the dorms. 

Laura doesn't respond and lowers her head. Carmilla nods and plays with her own thumbs. Was she accepting defeat? Was she never going to get out of the trenches after trading blows? Carmilla bites her bottom lip and laughs at herself.

"What Carm? Because if you have nothing to say, I'd think it would be better for you to go back into your cave." Laura's voice comes from behind her hair. 

Carmilla stands. She tries to hide the physical pain in her heart but does a bad attempt at it. Laura looks a her and for just a second her eyes look puppyish. Like they're begging her to go to her. To hold her for all of time. Carmilla loses her thoughts at the sight of Laura. She feels her ripped heart rip more. Metaphorically. Her breathing hitches in her throat. "What was that poptart?" Her eyebrow raising.

This time Laura stands and asserts herself and gets in her face. So close that Carmilla can feel the breath of her words on her lips. "I said. Take you and your leather ass and get the hell out!" Laura's voice shakes at the end causing Carmilla to relapse in her mind. 

For days after that fight they had she has cried internally. She thought that Laura saw her nothing more than a monster. Someone who just takes innocent people for their own enjoyment. Was she the monster in Laura's life? The more they don't exchange the more that thought provokes and prodes her mind. She wants Laura to fall in love with Carmilla. Carmilla the human vampire. Not Carmilla. Carmilla the vampire hero. Laura needs to get off this train of assuming and expecting so much out of love. Her ideas of love stretch farther because she wants the perfect world. The one she didn't get when she was young. She lost her mum at a little age and never got that talk on what's it like to truly love someone. Carmilla never thought she'd be the first one to admit it, and even more surprising for her to say it back. She knows Laura feels something. Even if it's buried deep down inside her. Carmilla saw it. To start it out easy before she left she spoke. Nothing too provoking but to ease their way into the dreaded conversation. 

"Do you miss me?" Her voice comes and goes and surprises Laura with its calmness and gentleness.

In a low deflated tone she says, "... of course I do."

Carmilla didn't expect that. She says more so it isn't lost.

"Laur- Cupcake. Can we talk about it?"

Laura looks at her with a mix of confusion, lust, and helplessness. 

"Talk about what! That I still care for you. That I still want to kiss you when I feel stressed or alone. That I want to love you but know I cant!" The words come faster than either one of them can process them. 

"Wait... what?"

Laura tries to run out but Carmilla puts her body between her and her exit. they stare into each others eyes. Their eyes shaking not wanting to break it first.

"Laura. Do you mean that?" Carmilla's voice lacking sarcasm.

"Carm... that's the first time you've said my name in a long time."

"Laura, I screamed you're name when I got shot with the arrow. I didn't want my last words to be awful. I didn't want to see myself die before I could say how I really felt. Laura, I still love you. That feeling hasn't gone away. That feeling has been shoved away because I didn't want to feel anymore pain. I didn't want to fall in love with someone who doesn't back..." Her voice trails off. 

Before Laura could say anything more Carmilla was on her lips. Speaking for her in the language of tongue. The emotion once again took over her mind and clouded anything else. There's still so much work to be done but they can't be apart anymore. They can't keep fighting like this. Neither of them could take it anymore. They were having withdrawls now. They didn't admit it right away, but they both needed each other. Bad.

Laura falls into Carmilla and she grabs Laura's waist. Her free hand on her face keeping her close. She didn't want to lose the feeling of her lips. She hears her moan in the back of her throat. Carmilla pulls back slowly and keeps her eyes closed. Scared if she opens them it will be another dream. But any dream with laura was a nightmare before because she wasn't right there next to her to take it away. 

Laura smiles and Carmilla can't help but let out an exasperated breath. _She came around. Thank you whoever is looking out for me._

"Carm. I've learned to love you because now I know what it means. It means that you'd do anything for someone. When they're not there you feel that emptiness. Knowing that I couldn't just hug you or kiss you, I couldn't take it. Carmilla I know what I really want to say."

Carmilla nods and looks at her. Their faces right next to each other. Their lips separated only by a breath.

"I love you."


End file.
